Bunkie

Full Name: Bunkie BlowOccupation: CEO of Blow Brothers Septic Tank Pumpin'Personality: Loud, crude, shameless, and proud of his redneck roots. He is the human embodiment of bad decisions and questionable hygiene, yet he remains blissfully confident in his life choices.

Personality:

• Boisterous & Unfiltered: Bunkie has no concept of an “inside voice” and speaks as if he’s trying to be heard over a tractor engine. His humor is as raw as his vocabulary.

• Dumb but Unapologetic: He lacks self-awareness but makes up for it with sheer confidence. Even when he says something idiotic, he delivers it with conviction.

• Unintentionally Hilarious: Bunkie’s logic is as backwards as his hygiene, leading to statements that make no sense but somehow feel profound in their absurdity.

• A Proud Redneck: He embraces the trailer park lifestyle with pride, from his garbage can “pool” to his Dairy Queen business cards. He doesn’t see his life as dysfunctional—he sees it as resourceful.

• Over-the-Top Womanizer (but in Reality, a Mess): He boasts about his relationships with women (particularly "Cinnamon Twist"), but his love life is a trainwreck of infidelity and paternity uncertainty.

Backstory & Life (After Death):

• Bunkie was born premature—literally bungee-jumped out using his umbilical cord.

• Raised in a household where “toilet training” and “public decency” weren’t major concerns.

• Claims to be the head of Blow Brothers Septic Tank Pumpin', a septic tank cleaning business with an unnecessarily detailed slogan.

• Has a wife named Beth (aka “Crystal Beth”) who may or may not run a meth lab.

• Has a son named William Thurston Joseph Edgar Stonefield Blow III, named after all of his wife’s potential baby daddies.

• Crashed his Chevy into the back of a theater but insists he’s fine.

• Uses Dairy Queen napkins as business cards and doesn’t see the issue with it.

• Claims to have an 80-inch screen…door. The screen is missing, but they’re saving up for it.

Notable Catchphrases & Jokes:

• “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!” (Akin to Bill, but with more redneck energy.)
  “I ain't worried… Like a good neighbor, State Farm is th—… shit, where the hell is Jake?”
  “Ya ever smelled Cinnamon? Smells like… shit.”
  “I drive a Chevy… it ain’t totaled, it’s just… character built.”
  “I come from a long line of Blow. We call my kid Joe Blow.”
  “My birth certificate says I was born at 6:45… AND 6:50! And an hour later ‘cause Momma was feelin’ frisky!”
  “I popped out, Daddy caught me, weighed me, and tried to throw me back in.”
  “If ya ever need a Blow, call me.” (Referring to his septic business, but with a suggestive wink.)
  “My wife never runs out of sugar, but she sure ends up with a bun in the oven a lot.”

Dynamic with Landon:

• Landon is constantly bewildered by Bunkie’s sheer stupidity but is too exhausted to fight it.

• Bunkie frequently misunderstands simple concepts, leading to long-winded conversations that go nowhere.

• His jokes often leave Landon speechless, forcing him to move the show along while Bunkie keeps rambling.

• Unlike Bill (who thrives on dark humor) or Jackie (who is fast-talking and flirty), Bunkie is just straight-up ridiculous.​