About Bill | Landon Harvey

Bill (The Zombie)

Full Name: Bill the Zombie (or as he prefers, “The Living Impaired”)Personality: Morbidly funny, dark-humored, cynical, and effortlessly sarcastic. Bill is a self-aware undead menace who balances existential dread with laugh-out-loud quips. His macabre sense of humor makes light of his situation, and his wit is sharper than a guillotine.

Personality:

Unfiltered & Morbid: Bill has no shame in cracking jokes about death, decay, and the afterlife. Whether it’s funerals, zombies, or eating brains, he finds a way to make it funny.
Sarcastic & Cynical: He has a dry, deadpan delivery that makes his lines hit harder. He views the world with a detached amusement, as he’s already seen the worst of it—literally.
Egotistical & Vain: Despite being a decomposing corpse, Bill thinks he’s quite the looker (at least compared to others in the underworld). He embraces his rotting body, often boasting about his "rugged" appearance.
Miserable & Grumpy: He constantly complains about his post-death experience—whether it’s alimony from his ex-wife, dealing with the living, or the struggles of keeping his limbs attached.
Ladies’ Man (Sort Of): He claims to be irresistible to women, but his dating history suggests otherwise. He still tries his best, often with disastrous results.

Backstory & Life (After Death):

Bill was once a regular guy, but after an unfortunate demise, he was brought back to life… and he’s been regretting it ever since.
He worked at a funeral parlor but got fired for "sampling the merchandise."
His ex-wife still haunts him—figuratively, not literally—and demands alimony, making his afterlife even more miserable.
He resides in a cheap grave on the wrong side of town, as his ex took the family cemetery plot in the divorce.
His head is home to Maggie the Maggot, a sassy little parasite who insists on managing his life like a secretary.

Notable Catchphrases & Jokes:

“LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!” (His signature demand for attention.)
“I look like Nancy Pelosi turned inside out!”
“Dying is the new living!”
“I only eat VEGANS’ brains… You’re welcome.”
“I was married ‘til death do us part’… and SHE STILL WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE!”
“I’m an Uber driver… which quickly turns into Uber Eats.”
“You know Peter Piper? He didn’t pick peppers. He picked PEOPLE.”
“I want a woman who’s… TENDER. Very, very tender.”
“I’m a lady killer… but only in the most literal sense.”
“I was a security guard at a Justin Bieber concert. After the second song, I killed myself.”
“Funerals—why do they call it FUN-eral? There’s nothing FUN about them!”

Dynamic with Landon:

Bill constantly pokes fun at Landon, pointing out his flaws and making him uncomfortable.
He has no filter and will derail conversations for his own amusement.
Despite the banter, he sees Landon as a strange companion, albeit a "still-breathing" one.
He tries to make Landon squirm with graphic descriptions of his zombie lifestyle.

Bill’s Sidekick - Maggie the Maggot:

A chatty little maggot living inside Bill’s head, offering snarky commentary.
She believes she’s Bill’s assistant, scheduling his "appointments" and handling his affairs.
Has a dry sense of humor, but with a slightly more refined attitude than Bill.
Occasionally sings duets with Bill, often to uncomfortable results.